“Bachelor” alum Sarah Herron gave fans a glimpse at her late son’s face in a touching tribute one month after his death.
“It’s been a month since Oliver was born. ❤️ This is him, this is his sweet little face. Perfect and covered in bright blonde peach fuzz. All 2lbs of him,” the grieving mother, 36, captioned a photo carousel, which included a pic where she held the newborn in her arms and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
Herron noted that she has no idea how she and her husband, Dylan Brown, have “managed to survive” as “it’s required a certain type of Wintering that only a grieving mother knows.”
“But somehow, we’re here,” she continued, talking about how she “can’t distinguish if the last month has been a nightmare” or if her pregnancy “was all a dream.”
She also noted that she is “gutted” that their lives are looking like the one “we lived before Oliver,” adding that it’s a “paradox of relief and grief” that her “body is healing yet I remain in maternity jeans.”
The former reality TV star continued that she is “not ready” for spring to arrived because it’s an “insulting reminder that life carries on, despite my grief still being held in January.”
“I don’t want the snow to melt or the trees to bud. I want to Winter with Oliver forever,” she said.
However, despite her grief, “joy has come back sooner than I gave it credit for” and they’ve “been laughing—a lot actually.”
Despite the good moments, she still doesn’t “really see or talk to people” though the “okay days are starting to outnumber intolerable days, and good days are even starting to find their way in.”
Herron also revealed that her son “is home,” tucked away “in a white gift bag until his urn arrives.”
She concluded her tribute, “I feel his spirit all around us, people all around the WORLD feel his spirit. And though his body isn’t here, I know this isn’t the end of Oliver Brown. Happy one month heavenly birthday, baby boy. We love you and miss you forever. ❤️
Along with the photo of Oliver, Herron shared pics of condolence gifts, snowy walks with her husband, a beach tribute and of her dog, whom she described as her “lifeline.”
On Feb. 1, Herron revealed that her son had died after being born at 24 weeks following a lengthy IVF journey.
Since then, she has been open about her struggles, admitting that there was no way to prepare for this loss.
She was forced to take a “crash course in postpartum relief through streaming tears,” saying, “I don’t want relief, I want my baby.”
Despite losing her child before carrying him to full term, Herron said that Oliver was “worth” every IVF shot.