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When it comes to curating buzzy gifts, few can hold a (vagina-scented) candle to Gwyneth Paltrow.
And with February almost here, the star is getting into the spirit of the season with her 2023 Goop Valentine’s Day gift guide, filled with predictably extravagant presents ranging from $33,870 diamond earrings to a (comparatively cheap) $1,895 set of rose quartz checkers.
But if you’re not up for dropping over five figures on heart-shaped bling, take heart; there’s also a slew of under-$100 gifts, ranging from conversation-starting decor to a boxed set of literal conversation starters.
Also among the more affordable options? Picks from viral beauty brands including Koses Wet Lip Oil Gloss ($22), Tower 28 MakeWaves Mascara ($20) and Saie Dew Blush ($25) and Lip Blur Lipstick ($24).
Kosas Wet Lip Oil Gloss ($22)
Plus, add some red carpet magic to the red-hot holiday with picks like the Augustinus Bader Rich Cream ($290) — which countless stars swear by — and the Vital Skincare Complexion Drops ($68) and Super Loaded Tinted Highlighter ($75) from Jennifer Aniston- and Kate Hudson-approved brand Westman Atelier.
For presents that are more NSFW, Paltrow’s got a selection of over 40 vibrator picks, ranging from the Madonna-approved Crave Vesper Vibrator Necklace ($149) to the $129 Smile Makers Poet Vibrator (who needs Shakespearean sonnets?) and a Valentine’s-ready heart-shaped Heartthrob Vibrator ($98) by Goop Wellness.
Goop’s more pricey presents also bring a new meaning to cuffing season, with picks ranging from Crave ID Cuffs ($59) to an Agent Provocateur Crystal Whip ($380) and Kiki de Montparnasse Collar and Lead Bondage Set ($550).
For areas of the home beyond the bedroom, there’s the Chefanie Relationship Status Cocktail Napkins ($48) — or the Kama Sutra Dinner Napkins ($88), if you’re looking to add some spice to the dinner table instead.
And there’s no ifs, ands or butts about it that Paltrow loves sexy candles. In addition to her famed vagina votive — the Goop x Heretic “This Smells Like My Vagina” Candle ($48) — the gift guide also includes the Caïyu Le Petit Derrière Small Candle ($60), not to mention the equally cheeky Anissa Kermiche Asstray ($80).
Gold Goop-approved picks also abound, whether you’re looking to splurge on bling like the Foundrae Heart Ingot Ring ($3,600) or shave a little off that price by opting for a Bolin Webb 24-Karat Gold Razor Set ($425) instead.
It’s safe to say that whether you’re looking for blush from the beauty aisle or gifts to make your giftee blush, Paltrow’s picks have something to suit.