Lucy Hale broke down in tears reflecting on her “incredibly self-destructive” journey to sobriety.
When the “Pretty Little Liars” alum immediately teared up during Thursday’s “Diary of a CEO” podcast episode, she warned host Steven Bartlett that she cries “all the time” speaking about her path.
“I just love where I landed in my life and it’s been a really powerful and painful, insightful, joyous, horrible journey,” the actress, 33, said.
Hale told listeners that she has been “working on getting sober since [she] was 20,” clarifying that she has had “a problem” since she first tried alcohol at age 14.
Not only did drinking “quiet [her] mind,” which was “exhausting,” but Hale felt like her “real” self under the influence — a feeling she now understands to be “bulls–t.”
“I was a textbook binge drinker,” she explained. “Blackout. I wouldn’t remember what I did or what I said.”
Although Hale “tried to change” for her boyfriends, her mom, her career and “vain reasons,” she had to personally “want to get sober” for the choice to stick on Jan. 2, 2022.
Advertisement
Advertisement
“I said, ‘I deserve more out of this life. I have to try it a different way,’” she recalled, explaining her lowest moment came after “dozens” of “emotional rock bottoms … at the depths of hell.”
The “Life Sentence” alum credited her resilience with “always pull[ing]” herself out of hard times and “sling-shott[ing]” herself the other way.
One week prior to her candid interview, Hale surprised her Instagram followers with news that she celebrated her first year of sobriety on Jan. 2 after a “private” journey.
“This is a post about self-love and about the greatest thing I’ve ever done,” the singer captioned a photo of her cake on Valentine’s Day.
“I felt compelled tonight to let anyone who is struggling know that you are not alone and you are loved.”
Hale’s A-list pals congratulated her in the comments, with Troian Bellisario calling her “brave and cool and inspirational.”
The “Hating Game” star first spoke publicly about quitting drinking in a Byrdie interview in 2017.
“I’m just always trying to surround myself with better people and be the best version of myself possible,” she explained at the time.
Hale also addressed her eating disorder recovery on Thursday, saying that for years food was “all [she] thought about from the moment [she] woke up until” bedtime.
“I hated myself so much that I couldn’t give myself basic needs like food. That’s so tragic,” she said. “I had no self-worth incredibly low self-worth.
“I knew that my hair shouldn’t be falling out, I knew I shouldn’t be seeing every bone in my body, but you get addicted … to that hamster wheel in your head,” she continued, noting that she no longer “looks back and shame[s] herself” for not having the “tools” to recover.
If you or someone you know struggles with an eating disorder, visit the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) website or call their hotline at (800)-931-2237 to get help.